I am a freshman in college with a long distance boyfriend. No, not the 30 minute drive, but the 6 hour plane ride. Just to put the hours in perspective, our distance is the same as flying from New York to France. So, you might ask: why long distance? Well, let me tell you.
In high school I met this boy from my hometown. He was a year older, and was on his way out the door, to the college world, when he asked me to be his girlfriend. That is actually a funny story, he was like "do you wanna be my girlfriend?" and so naturally I thought it would be funny to say "eh". He was so caught off guard, like "what?????" and I was like"kidding! Yes, of course!"
Anyways, long story short I fell for this boy who was in love with tennis. He was in college for the sport, and always had/has the dream of going pro.
When it was apparent that our first year of dating was going to be long distance, tennis boy came home to see me EVERY WEEKEND. Like, made the 4 hour drive to see me EVERY WEEKEND. Tell me that isn't like the sweetest thing ever. He always made time for me, and helped settle my nerves when all I was worried about was being left behind in his college world.
It usually happens that when everything is going well, soemthig always takes a challenging turn. I got accepted to my dream school in California, and it soon dawned on us that weekly weekend visits would not be happening.
With confidence in the situation, the tennis boy told me that he was going to try and play in California. Naturally, my parents weren't exactly on board with this idea. Actually, they told me that that was not going to happen, or they would send me somewhere else.
At first, I found this so frustrating. My thought process was like, since I am an adult, I can make my own decisions. They were like no you cannot. But now? Now, I am thankful as hell that they put their foot down. Tennis boy and I are doing so well with long distance, but like real long distance not the every week reunion. I am not saying that this was an easy few months, but it was worth it. We both got to find ourselves in new places, which I think made us both better people.
Look, I am not going to lie to you, it is not easy. Long distance sucks, but if you can find someone that makes you happy everyday, even if they frustrate you at times, see what it could be.
My advice? Have patience, open communication, and trust. Tell each other when something is wrong. Talk to each other when one of you is feeling irritated or frustrated. Be open about being sad, because it is very real. Every detail of every minute of every day does not need to be narrated, but be open with what is going on, and it saves a lot of frustration. Take time to talk to each other over the phone instead of texting. My parents always told me that things get lost in translation when one sends texts instead of taking the time to make the phone call, and they are right.
This is important to remember!!!!: You do not have to talk or call everyday. I always find that whenever we both have time, it always helps when I am feeling down or alone.
To the tennis boy, if you are reading this, know how thankful I am for you. Long distance isn't easy, but after 3 months of not seeing each other, getting the biggest hug from the tennis boy makes it worth while.
xx,
Sunshine
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