Let me set the scene for you. I was sitting in a cafe reading a book, when I overheard a couple girls talking about their recent Hinge and Raya dates. Don't get me wrong, I am all for meeting someone through an app if that is your gig, but the thing is, what ever happened to real life, you know the one where we throw the phones away and get to meet people in person. I got to thinking, and I couldn't help but wonder, is it hopeless to meet someone without the phone?
Disclaimer: I am incredibly sorry if you are offended, but I needed to give an example. When I talk about real life and meeting someone in person, I am not talking about the guy who is likely in finance, who you meet at the bar. He chats your ear off about himself, neglecting to even ask a question about you. Unfortunately, asking, "Oh, what do you do for work" got him started on this long investment banking spiel where you are now stuck with no way out, listening to how he is, in fact, overseeing a super top secret deal that is the exaggeration of the century, because he is also just an intern. We all know that if it was really super top secret, they would never let an intern even put their hands near something that important.
So, is the only way to really meet someone these days through an app? Is the lore of meeting someone in public, sitting at a coffee shop with a book or magazine and the passerby on the street stops what they are doing and introduces themselves to you? And if that is true, that era is so over, then are we stuck on the age of dating apps?
An app is a great way to meet someone, don't get me wrong, but something about it just feels very much like shopping. We sit on our screens all day scrolling, and now we are judging people, once again, by their profile, without knowing anything about them. Also, like what if I meet someone and then I hit it off. We date and I have to bring him home to meet the family. Something about introducing Nate, my super cute (fictional) boyfriend to my family and when they ask how we met, "oh I liked his profile on hinge" feels, for lack of better words, painful.
On the other hand, if you are an avid dating app user but finding the process a little mundane, I highly recommend listening to or reading Tinx's book. In her book, The Shift, Tinx gives great advice to navigating dating apps, saying that the app should not be grouped as social media, but instead next to your grocery apps or something that you use as a task and less as a past time because they can become draining.
I mean, what better way to dress up an outfit than the key accessories, a chic belt, a gorgeous vintage pair of pumps, an insane (borderline obnoxious) amount of jewelery, and perhaps for some the perfect partner. Since we are all stuck shopping these days, we might as well just add one of those Hinge men to the cart... right? Well, maybe this is just me, but who better to ask for advice than your girl friends. In the spirit of research, I obviously went to my go-to gals, and asked them about their experience when it comes to partner shopping. For lack of better words, the stories of the men on hinge were all rather... unhinged (ya i know corny but whatever you get the idea).
Come to think of it, each of their experiences reminded me of when you think you bought the perfect pair of jeans, they have great reviews (from random people of course) and are just expensive enough that you can make a case for the purchase, but when you try them on they don't fit, like at all. Don't get me wrong, some of them left great reviews about the dating sites, but everyone was pretty much on the same page after a couple glasses of wine... why can't we just meet someone the normal way, aka not on the app. The sad reality is, can dating off the app even be classified as normal in this day and age?
So, if we really are in the dating app era, what is one to do if they do not want to spend the time shopping for boys? In all transparency, I have no clue, but maybe summer in the city will change that. Updates, hopefully, to come.
xx,
sunshine
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