The Final Few Weeks

Something about the rain has always made me incredibly nostalgic.

So, here I am, curled up on the couch that is placed perfectly by the open window of my two friends apartment, listening to Springsteen by Eric Church, the heavy rain draws my attention away from the conversation that I am supposed to be partaking in. The sound of the downpour interrupts my thoughts that were focused on schoolwork and drowns out the background noise that fills the living room.

As I stare out the window I think about the people who I am surrounded by in Milan, and it dawns on me that the feeling of my racing heart this morning wasn't from the cup of coffee that I forgot to have. Instead, it is from the idea that by this time next month, I will be reminiscing on my experiences in Milan, as opposed to living them.

This chapter, like the rest, will come to a close, and we all will be forced to move ahead with our lives. This pestering thought is one that keeps me awake at night. Each night, I find no answer to this unsolved anxiety. I couldn't help but wonder, what will I do without all of the people who have so quickly become my family?

There will be a day, one that is approaching faster than I would like to acknowledge, where I won't be able to run down the hallway to wake up Vig before class and enjoy our breakfast together. There will be a day when my after class debriefs with Izzy won't take place as we walk to Navigli or the Duomo. There will be a day where I will not be able to fix my gelato cravings with the local store 20 minutes away, the perfect distance to clear your head on a warm spring evening, and a day when I won't be able to watch Law & Order with my roommate Serena until the sun comes up.

There will be a day when Gracie and I won't be able to spontaneously book a trip to Rome, or Bells and I won't be able to discuss our paralleled thinking that only Psychology majors understand after a 4:30 pm aperitivo. No more Inter Milan soccer game fiascos with Jordan and Dana, no more dinner in Abby and Izzy's room, where the only thing I can contribute is a Greek Salad.

No more sharing large beers that are mixed with Lemonade at Springfest with Abby, and no more glancing across the table to the only girl, Lily, who would want to split a bottle of champagne with me every night. No more laughing til tears are streaming down my face during a day trip to Genova with Jasmine and Miah, or after school sneaker shopping with Nicole and Dylan.

The day will come when Ian isn't complaining about how early our classes are, or when Lance isn't texting to go to Pogues anymore. There will be a day when Derek won't joke with me about my green outfits, or Patty won't be watching the soccer game next door and let me come in and watch because he seems to be the only one with a VPN. A day when, in the future, we tell about stories from our time abroad and reminisce about the people who brought them to life.

There will be a day when phone calls will have to suffice, because besides our memories, that is all we will all have to tie us together. So, I guess this is ciao, at least for now.

xx,

sunshine