After writing all about the dreaded dating app, which encompassed the frightening dating scene that is amongst us, I decided to test my theory. I am not one for first dates, I don't know why. Some girls are so good at first dates, (hopefully) others (like me) are not as polished and refined in (what I would like to call) an awkward situation.
Anyways, I was talking to my friend Jasmine, and I told her I had a date lined up. Ok wait, before I get ahead of myself ... I guess I should set the scene for you. I was at a bar with some friends when this guy approached me, let's call him The New Yorker. Anyways, The New Yorker walked right up to me, and struck a conversation. Usually, I like to get myself out of these situations as fast as possible, because... well no because I just always do. When I figure out why, I will be sure to let you all know.
Anyways, pardon the interruption, let me get back to boy talk. He matched my energy completely. My energy, what is it you ask? Well, my recipe is super top secret, but I guess if I am sitting here on my high horse writing a blog post about my successful encounter, it would only be right for me to include the ingredients since I know my super successful blog only gets about 3 views, so I think my secrets will be safe. Okay okay, let me give you my recipe. However, I must first make sure we are all aware of the warning label, which highly advises you to NOT follow if you are looking for success in this category.
The Sunshine Recipe for Striking Up A Conversation With Cute Men At The Bar:
Sarcasm. If you think you are doing too much, keep going, make sure to really over do it.
Dry Humor. Do they know you are joking? No? Good, that means you are doing it right.
Clumsy. Make sure to spill your drink everywhere. Obviously you are not drunk. Unfortunately, you just have really bad depth perception and incredibly shaky hands.
So, of course, he asked me on a date, and I said yes. Why? Well, he was cute, and he seemed a little older than the guys I usually entertain, which from experience must be a good sign. And, quite frankly, I am not sure why I said of course up there, but humor me, okay? After a lot of chatting, he left the bar with his friend. I kinda figured that was it, but then he texted me, about an hour later, making a plan to take me out to drinks. In my usual fashion, I blew the first plan off. I didn't want to seem like I REALLY wanted to go on this date, because I really didn't know if I was going to show up or not. So, we rescheduled and I went.
I wondered, why I was so on the edge of actually going. To go or to not go, that was the question I asked my magic eight ball (yes, I have one & yes, I use it religiously) about 45 times. To my dismay, the stupid toy kept saying "ABSOLUTELY."
At this point, like I mentioned above, is when I called Jasmine, one of my best friends from Milan, and I asked her what in the world I was supposed to do. She was like, well Carrie (Bradshaw, for those who don't know) would obviously go. I was panicking, so I told Jasmine that I was, in fact, panicking. Like, what if the whole thing is boring or weird or awkward or just not the vibe? So, I asked her what to do and she told me worst case scenario "at least you get a blog post out of it." I thought about it for a second, told her she was so right, then told her the code word was dirty martini, incase I needed her to call me and fake an emergency.
So, like one should do, I made sure five of my friends were on standby, and of course, they all had my location and my emergency code word. Safety first, right? Right.
And just like that, I went. Let me tell you, it was what Carrie Bradshaw AND Charlotte York would consider a great first date. Does this mean I will become a serial first dater? Absolutely not. But, at least I am not as anti-first date as I was before this. I used to be a serial first date canceler. At least that flakiness is now out of my system.
My advice? If you are going on a date, the older man is the way to go. Why? Well, I think a year or two makes a huge difference. These men are gentlemen, so much more mature. Let me tell you, they are gentleman, opening the door for you, paying for your drinks, etc. There were no snarky, or relatively degrading, comments about your appearance. Do they mention other girls they dated or have recently had drinks with? No, there is absolutely none of that. What about the girl who is smokin' hot, and for reference, they pull out the visual reference of their instagram? None of that either, thank goodness. Maybe it is just me, but "traits" like this, which is something we (all) grew up expecting to be common decency, or human decency for that matter, apparently are something that happens to be few and far between these days.
So, did I meet my boyfriend? Nope. My future husband? Funny. Okay Okay, but did I start seriously seeing this man? No sir, I did not. Did I have a good time winning in darts? Heck yea I did (even though I lost). My date was refreshing, like a breath of fresh air. It was nice knowing that there were some gentlemen still among us.
No, you don't have to date someone older, or even go on a date with the older guy. At the end of the day, just find someone who is respectful. Look, it's just dinner, but that is a few hours you wont get back, so why would you settle for hearing about the other women when you could instead hear about someone who is confident enough in themselves to ask about you and hopefully care. If they don't at least you can sleep well at night knowing that they are great actors.
xx,
sunshine
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